::alio!::

Oh procrastinatorinatingoring

I really should get back to transcribing, but it can wait fifteen minutes while I do this and finish my ice cream.

Please note that responses may be highly caustic. I've been sitting at my computer for two weeks straight. I'm a little loopy and can barely type.

Stolen from Chel, because that's what I do:

A More Mature Questionnaire... Though Not By Much, If At All

Meant to be completed by ADULTS (defined as graduating high school more than three years ago). Here are some questions for the people who are a little more mature. (Although honestly... it's not really a whole lot more mature.)

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Not really a bill, but I hate putting money on my line of credit - because the debt is so vast, that every time I pay off some of it, I end up spending it again.

2. Where's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
The Black Tomato on York. Or, if you're rich, the Courtyard Restaurant. Andy had this AMAZING tenderloin that practically MELTED on your tongue.

3. Last time you puked from drinking!!
Hallowe'en. It was a bad scene, the beauty queen on her knees . . . but that's what you get from singlehandedly consuming three bottles of wine.

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
Never on a bar. Sorry. I have enough problems keeping my balance sober, thanks a bunch.

5. Name of your 2nd grade teacher?
Miss Valentine. No joke.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Watching hockey, but my work is KILLING me.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
An anthropologist - oh wait, I AM an anthropologist. MAN, I must be PSYCHIC!

8. How many colleges did you attend?
None. One university, but I attended it twice.

9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
It's green.

10. GAS PRICES First thought?
49 cents Chel? I remember visiting Mendocino California, where gas was 49 cents a GALLON and thinking THAT was ridiculously expensive! I remember it when it was 27!

11. If you could be anywhere and take someone with you...
Somewhere warm and without internet with the Pie.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Man my neck hurts, I can't believe I have to wait until tomorrow to see the chiropractor.

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
Screw working - I'm exhausted.

14. What chore do you despise?
Taking my mom to physio - it's not that bad, the people are nice, but when I'm working, it really interrupts my day.

15. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery?
I'd rather volunteer at a museum, or the Ten Thousand Villages.

16. Get up early or sleep in?
I'm a morning person, so I try to get up early. Sleeping in for me is 9:00. Really letting it all go is 10:00.

17. What is your favorite cartoon character?
The Flash.

20. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
Play board games. I'm a loser.

21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
Then it wouldn't really be a secret. One that everyone already knows? I'M FUCKING CRAZY.

22. Are you planning on remaining in your current field?
Maybe switching to the dark side of the force and becoming an Anthropologist, but that's not really a big jump.

23. If you are not married, do you see yourself married in the next five yrs?
Hm . . . possibly. My PhD is my first goal before I'm thirty. Marriage and the resulting children might put a damper in that.

24. Your favorite lunch meat?
Eugh, none. Lunch meat is revolting.

25. What do you get every time you go into a Wal-Mart?
Cheap $9.99 shoes. (Chel: WOOT!)

26. Beach or lake?
Can't I have both?

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at 20?
No.

28. Who do you stalk on My Space?
I avoid it. And facebook. And friendster. AND blogger. They're all awful.

29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Masturbation . . . ? No. Um . . . reading romance novels. It's like the book version of crappy television.

30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
My favourite movie is Trading Places, and I don't care who knows.

31. What's "your" drink?
Cranberry juice. Straight up. No ice. Damn, that's got kick. :D

32. Cowboys or Indians?
Indians. But we call them First Peoples now. DUH.

33. Cops or Robbers?
Cops. I'm a sucker for a uniform.

34. Do you cheer for the bad guy?
I root for the underdog, but I guess that's a bit different.

35. What Hollywood star do you think resembles you best?
Lindsay Lohan mostly (although because I'm older and cooler I like to think that she looks like ME), then Megan Follows. I've also gotten Andie MacDowel, Geena Davis, and Julia Stiles, but I don't see those last ones at all.

36. If you had to pick one, which cast member of Lost would you be?
None of them. I don't want to be stuck on an island. Although perhaps Hurley, because he's so laidback.

37. What do you want when you are sick?
Bed. And drugs.

38. Who from high school would you like to run into?
No one, really. The people I like from high school I still see regularly.

39. What radio station is your clock radio tuned to right now?
103.3 CBC Radio 2. What did I say before? I'm a loser.

42. Norm or Cliff?
NOOOOOOOOOOOORM!

43. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?
Cosby Show.

44. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Working for Chel's dad. That was a disastrous relationship.

45. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
HAHAH, it's my own reflection!

46. If you could get away with it, who would you kill?
I don't really hate anyone. George Bush maybe? Not because I hate him, but because I think the world might be better off without him. Him and Darcy Tucker.

47. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Either Keanu Reeves or Will Smith, because they're both so cool.

48. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Nope.

49. Last book you read for real?
The Sports Star - by some guy.

50. Do you have a teddy bear?
I have a polar bear and a tiger, but they live in my closet.

51. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
On a dune in the desert when I was 9. Go Oregon.

52. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
I can't remember where I've been. And I'd rather see another state that I HAVEN'T been to.

53. Number of texts in a day?
Anywhere between 7 and 25, depending on how busy two of my four contacts are.

54. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or relationship?
New career. But in the same field.

55. Pen or pencil??
Fat pens. FAT. But pencils have their perks. Why do you make me choose? How is this mature? The mature choice is that they are both incredibly useful.

56. Missing...
Sleep.

57. How many jobs have you had?
I gotta list them . . .
Nanny (twice)
Medical Secretary
Sandwich Artist at Subway
Manager at MBE (and drudge, if you count that as two)
Shot-Lister for Global
Recall Officer for RQA
Law Clerk
Undergraduate TA
Graduate TA
Transcriber
and soon . . . co-manager in training for Bark and Fitz!

So . . . 11 if you count the one that's coming up.

58. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Married, with people calling me Dr. Bell, and Hockey Canada pounding on my door.

174 pages of thesis goodness

So it's done - the first draft, at least. Double-spaced and properly formatted, it's 174 pages from the introduction to the end of the bibliography, so without the bibliography, it's 154 pages. The abstract, acknowledgments, dedication, table of contents, and cover page don't factor in there, either.

And now I just have to work on my transcriptions. I've done 16. I have 5 left.

Then I'm GONE to OREGON!

waiting for inspiration to SMACK

I have a deadline of tomorrow afternoon to finish the last chapter of my thesis. I had a few ideas percolating around at one point last week, but they've sunk back down into the depths, so I have to wait until they come out again.

In other news, the most interesting thing happened to me last week.

Having heard *some* of my friends complaining about how it was almost impossible to get a job in this city, I decided to start my applications early and so on Monday last week, when I was taking a break from my house arrest, I updated my resume, and then produced an extremely cocky (but entirely accurate) cover letter. Tuesday afternoon I mailed them out to nine different retail businesses in my area. They were picked up Wednesday, and, I'm assuming, delivered Thursday or Friday morning.

Friday morning I get an email from the owner of Bark & Fitz, an upscale pet store in Westboro, and then Friday afternoon I get a call from the manager at Stay Organized on Merivale. Both are interested.

As B&F looks really cool, but doesn't look as if it will pan out, schedule-wise, I send a frank email back to her and accept an interview time at Stay Organized for 3:30 this afternoon.

Throughout the weekend I have been emailing back and forth with the owner of B&F. Turns out that my schedule is the least of their worries, and they're interested in training me for a management position. Seeing as she and I are now trying to plan my camping schedule around her family wedding schedule (it's a family business, so they all have to go to these things every once in a while, and the store gets shortstaffed), I'm pretty sure I can safely assume that I've got the job, even though I haven't yet met her. She says that she now prefers email interviews, because then she's not so rushed. I'm going to go in and see her when I get back from Portland.

With that in mind, I've cancelled my interview for this afternoon (with thanks for considering me), and now I'm just waiting for inspiration to smack me in the head!

another great clark

If you ever wondered what "hoser" truly means . . .

Teaser

I didn't take any pictures at the wedding. This one was taken by my parents when we raced home after the ceremony so I could change shoes. I was in such agony I actually took them off while everyone was signing the register (the only time I could figure everyone would be distracted), and walked back down the aisle in bare feet. People laughed, but I didn't care.

In any case, it was too much of a pain to have to worry about my lovely camera, and I didn't have any pockets, either, so I'm relying on the bride and groom to send me the ones the photographer took, which are super-good. I even got him to take some of the Pie and me, and they look really nice.

p.s. I also caught the bouquet (it wasn't my choice, but I was informed the day before I would be doing this), so the photographer and I became best friends as he thought I would use him for my upcoming nuptuals.

self-inflicted

For those who care (Rachelle), my bruise is healing nicely. It still hurts a lot, but has now reached that lovely kalaidescope rainbow stage. Red, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet, as well as mauve, gray, and black, are all represented on my knee.

I have, however, picked up a sneezing cold - I blame Angus. It's one of those ones where you basically feel fine but you are constantly sneezing and producing goober from your nose.

I think it will look hot in the wedding photos.

Which brings me to my next order of business.

I had a major stress breakdown yesterday afternoon (don't fret, I have at least one a year, it's part of who I am), and, as a result, I am grounding myself for the next week. That means my only contact with the outside world will be with email (I'm turning off both my landline and my cell phone), and I'm not leaving my house until I finish this transcription contract. I'm horribly behind, through no fault of my own. It's very hard to get anything done, to get a good flow going, when every 15-20 minutes your phone rings, your diabetic dog needs to go out, or your handicapped mother needs you to carry something for her. It's nobody's fault, but it was so frustrating to me, that I was nearing breaking point.

And, then, yesterday, I broke.

It's quite comical, actually, if you consider the series of unfortunate events that lead up to it.

So I haven't been able to get any work done at ALL this week. My dad is out of town and that makes me the primary caregiver for my mother. And my dogs. Fucking dogs, they drive me crazy sometimes. Because of the wedding and because of my class last night, we had to rearrange physio, and I had to run a whole bunch of errands on Monday. Then physio on Tuesday and Wednesday. I did EVERYTHING yesterday, to ensure that I'd have the ENTIRE day today to do work before I drove to class in the evening. I did my laundry, errands, physio, shopping with Greg . . . everything.

So everything was going well on Thursday. I spent an hour and a half reading in the morning, then I had my breakfast. My plan was to fold my laundry and then work for the rest of the afternoon before showering and heading to school to give my students their midterm. I got the laundry done, but then my mother broke the veneer of her tooth, and had to go to an emergency dental appointment.

So there went my afternoon.

Then I had to go out and find out if the wheelchair was in the SUV, because we had to go to a different dentist than usual. The wheelchair was there, all right, but it was behind the electric cart, which weighs a hundred pounds. In addition, I had to remove a three-foot high wall of snow from the front of my driveway in order to get the car out. So that was when I essentially lost it.

Then, heaving and swearing, I managed to break the cart - by dropping it on my foot (don't worry, it's fixable and my foot is fine). I shoved it along the driveway, which I had shovelled for the purpose - the wheels don't work if the battery isn't in the machine to put it in the garage and the garage door was frozen shut. Let's not ignore the fact that it was like -18 yesterday without the windchill.

So I'm freezing and I'm pissed off and I burst into tears. I fully broke down in front of my mother, and I'm afraid I made her feel really guilty for constantly interrupting me. We agreed that next week my family would simply pretend I wasn't in the house, so I could play catch up.

Then we went to the dentist. We parked outside, near a wheelchair ramp, at Holland's Cross, down in Tunney's Pasture. It was so cold and so windy that my mother couldn't get out of the car, because the door kept blowing shut on her. And I couldn't hold the door open, because I was on the other side of a snowbank, holding onto the wheelchair so it wouldn't blow away.

It was then discovered that the ramp ended in a large snowbank, even though the rest of it was shoveled, so we had to go all the way around the corner. I was running behind the chair and we were barely moving because it was so windy. I was starting to lose sensation in my hands. A nice man helped me to push when we got stuck in the snow on the corner, and we finally found the ramp. Some idiotic woman watched us struggle all the way through a sticky door before she said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought it was automatic!" Which is why I had to push it open and my mother had to hold it while I shoved her through?

Anyway, the dentist was really nice, and didn't charge us, and we got home okay. By this point, I had time to shower briefly and feed myself and I was late for school. Well, I got to school with ten minutes until class (which starts at 6:05). I had to pick up a video we had on reserve at IMS, but they were on some stupid power trip. They could have just told me I had to go to a different room to get it, but instead said they didn't have the authority to give me the video and asked me to wait for their supervisor. At 6:03 I told them I'd be back and raced to class, where I found some tit standing outside, tapping her foot and looking at her watch. She had permission to write the exam as a takehome, and apparently I was cutting into her schedule by being a tiny bit late. I told her to wait until I'd sorted out all the other students, which included finding an overflow room, because I have 60 students and my classroom only holds 50. That whole time I was running around she was rolling her eyes at me. If I can find out who she is, I'm going to fail her.

Midterm went okay, and after a discussion with a megalomaniac at IMS, I got the video from the next room down (which they could have just told me in the beginning). And then watched an hour of the most graphic rape imagery I have ever seen.

After that, I decided not to hold a discussion and let the students go. I needed to go to bed after my day.

So I'm slightly more human today, I suppose, but I'm still holding to my plan to disappear next week. After Sunday (which is my recover-from-this-wedding day), you won't hear from me for a week. No phone. No website (unless I finish my contract, in which case there will be an IN YOUR FACE written somewhere), no going out, no text messages. If you call my house, my family will tell you I'm busy.

Just so's you're prepared.

the light is always perfect in toronto

Gather here to witness the passing of a friend.

She wasn't my friend, but she was the friend of someone.

Cola, the dog immortalized in my favourite Canadian webcomic, Butternutsquash, passed away on 9 February at the age of 13.

See a tribute here, and here.

I love it when people love their dogs.

Happy V-Day

Its not like Pie and I even really celebrate this day - we just try to spend it together.

So somehow, he got roped into spending the next three days in Toronto, and I got roped into going pants shopping with Greg.

*sigh*

Sam and Jay's wedding is this weekend. A full 34 hours I will be involved with this thing.

Hence, I plan to do absolutely nothing on Sunday. Except maybe skating. I went yesterday, but today there is a blizzard.

Despite my workload. Which I don't want to talk about. It all has to be done by the end of the month.

On the plus side, my puck-shaped bruise is healing nicely. It's weird when you can actually FEEL the blood clots moving around in a healing bruise. Kind of hurts a little. The yellowish line that travels right through the bruise and out the other side was, I believe, caused by the edge of my actual padding at the knee. The bright purple stuff is the outline of the top of my athletic sock. Neat how bruises do that.

At least I have something to show for it this time.

This is a bruise I obtained last night from taking a slapshot in the back of the knee. Right where there is no padding. The really dark spot is where there was no padding at all, and the lighter spot is where there was a bit.

You will notice that the bruise is puck-shaped.

Yes.

It hurts a lot.

And alas, the photo doesn't capture its amazing range of colour.

Now I know how Volchenkov feels (I knew last time I took a shot, but I had no bruise from it, as only the bone bruised).

This is from Saturday's Ottawa Citizen:

THE RAINBOW WARRIOR
Blocking shots hurts, and the Senators' Anton Volchenkov has the bruises, in varying colours, to prove it

Wayne Scanlan, The Ottawa Citizen
Published: Saturday, February 10, 2007

It's no exaggeration to say that Anton Volchenkov's bruises have bruises, his welts have welts, his aches have pains.

It hurts just looking at the lemon-sized welt above his left knee.

"This was not blocked shot; it was skate," Volchenkov says. "Third period, Toronto. Ponikarovsky fell down."

Volchenkov's teammates shake their head as the scene gets played out every time the Ottawa Senators play.

An enemy player winds up to shoot, Volchenkov drops down to block the puck, then scrambles back into the play. If the shot really stings, he might hobble to the bench.

Criminals throw themselves on the mercy of the court. Volchenkov throws himself at the mercy of the puck. High shots, low shots, body blows, ankle stingers.

He's the Russian version of a latter-day George Chuvalo. Volchenkov goes the distance. Every night. Every game.

Senators broadcaster Dean Brown could do a play-by-play just of Volchenkov's battered frame.

"On the road, where they do the treatments right in the dressing room, you see Anton's bruises and they're a kaleidoscope of colours," Brown says. "You've got the new ones that are red or black and the older ones are different shades of purple, blue and yellow."

Is Volchenkov ever afraid? Does he worry that the next shot he takes for the team could take him out?

"Ah, you know me," Volchenkov shrugs, smiling his gap-toothed grin. "It hurts, so you go to the bench, take some ice. You rest, then it's start of a new day, a new game."

Though no defenceman in the NHL is close to Volchenkov's total of 193 blocked shots, an astounding average of 3.6 per game, there are other defencemen who sacrifice their bodies. If they take it off the foot and limp off, everyone in the building wonders if it's a broken foot. The biggest trees in the NHL have been known to fall. This year, Chris Pronger suffered a fractured foot from a point shot.

The other night in Buffalo, Volchenkov was hurting badly as he limped to the Ottawa bench. A minute later, rinkside TSN analyst Pierre McGuire leaned in to ask Senators defenceman Tom Preissing if Volchenkov was OK.

"He's a 300-pound Russian bear," Preissing said. "He'll be fine."

Does Senators head coach Bryan Murray ever worry about his assistant goaltender as he hobbles to the bench?

"Every time," Murray says. "But the one thing I know, when he comes off the ice, all bruised up -- if you look at him, he has got more bruises than probably anybody in the league -- but he doesn't miss games.

"It would take something real bad for that to happen. He had a bad ankle early in the year. The normal player would have said he needed a game or two. 'No, no,' he says, 'maybe I need a day off practice, but I'm going to play.'

"He's a shot blocker, he's a competitive guy, he's a big, gritty guy, and the most important thing from a coaching point of view, you can count on him being available every night."

Foot shots tend to bother Volchenkov most. "Early in the year, it was the arm, now it's foot, I don't know why," he says.

Perhaps because those foot shots, even the ones that don't break bones, have staying power. (Would a fracture stop him, anyway?)

Volchenkov is still sore from a foot shot off the stick of the Boston Bruins' Glen Murray a couple of weeks ago.

Thursday's critical victory over the Montreal Canadiens was vintage Volchenkov.

Usually matched against the Canadiens' top line of Saku Koivu, Chris Higgins and Michael Ryder, Volchenkov played 22 minutes 36 seconds, blocked six shots, was plus two and chipped in two assists. He was named the game's top star, a rare centre-stage acknowledgement of his unsung talents.

Hockey fans relate to point producers. Their pools depend on them. Shot-blocking, stay-home defencemen? They have the faces and style of game only coaches or teammates could love.

Volchenkov says shot blocking has helped him get more ice time in Ottawa, while developing his overall talents. When Zdeno Chara left as a free agent, the Senators brought in two defencemen, Joe Corvo and Preissing, to help fill the gap. It turned out the shut-down replacement, and Chris Phillips' new partner, was here along: the 6-1, 226-pound Russian drafted by Ottawa 21st overall in 2000. Volchenkov turns 25 on Feb. 25.

"I like playing against big lines," he says. "Every game, I learn something against the best players."

He has zero goals and 14 assists, rarely sees power-play time. Yet, look who is having a career year, a breakout year, as an impact player. Heaven help the Senators if this guy blocks one shot too many and is lost for any playoff time.

"Every team has guys who play that priority role," Murray says. "We all start to depend on people, and if you lose them, it's a big hole."

Murray says that was the case last year when the team was build around Dominik Hasek, then lost him.

"Well, Anton has become one of those cornerstone guys on our team," Murray says.

A kaleidoscope cornerstone.

Tribute to "All Heart"

So he was a Leaf, but they don't make fighters like Wendel Clark anymore.

I especially love the part where he takes out a young CuJo with a shot.

Thanks to my brother for showing this to me.

so . . . annoyed . . .

That there is a picture of my little car being towed out of the Carleton University parking lot last night.

Chris came to pick me up from class and it died right there.

What annoys me is that it died in exactly the same way it died on Saturday. So it's definitely NOT the battery.

Which I knew before. Because my battery was pretty new when the car died.

But the Saturday tow guy literally scoffed at my suggestion that it was the alternator (because that had been suggested by JB's dad and I trust his judgment, especially as I knew it couldn't be the battery). I swear the look that went across his face was, "Stupid woman, what would YOU know about cars?" So he obviously didn't take my suggestion to heart.

And he obviously just left a note for my mechanic (who is usually super good) that said something along the lines of, "change the battery," so that's what my mechanic did.

Except it's OBVIOUSLY the alternator.

I said as much to the Thursday tow guy, this time from CAA instead of whatever company they outsource to on weekends, and he brought out this little chummy that actually TESTED the alternator. And he said I was right. No scoffing at all. He was really nice.

Grr.

So not only did I drop $140 for nothing on a car that isn't mine, but I have to drop another $500 or $600 or $700 on a new alternator on a car that isn't mine and isn't even worth its weight in scrap metal.

Grr.

P.S. However: Note the large quality of that photo - I took that from my cellphone, and it prints as 1280 x 1024 - I had to reduce it by 75% to get it to fit on the page properly.

P.P.S. In other news, I have a sort of semi-kind-of-interview/conversation with some lady from Portland at noon today. She's going to ask me why I want to make $8000 a month and work from home and I'm going to tell her. And then she's going to tell me what this job entails. So it might work out for me. We shall see.

Monstrous

So I spent the afternoon on Monster.ca, updating my profile and looking for possible employment for after I finish this damned thesis, these bloody transcriptions, and all the stupid midterms I will have to mark shortly. And after I come back from Portland, of course.

Normally, I hate that stupid site. It never seems to obey the criteria you set out, and is just completely useless in general. That said, I haven't visited the site in a few years, and it has improved, I must say.

Also, because I'm just looking for some low-end job that has nothing to do with my career choice, just something to help me pay my debts before I head off to PhD school, it had plenty for me to choose from.

I selected three clerical sort of jobs, all part time, all pretty high-paying (seeing as they ask for at least 5 years experience, I guess people like that [me] deserve more pay) - for what they are, of course. I sent in my applications. So we'll see what happens with that.

If nothing comes of it, then there's always a part time job in retail for pocket money. There's an opening at the Rideau Centre Bay for a change-room specialist in lingerie. And we all know how much I know about lingerie. So that would be fun, I think, helping women find the things that are right for them. There's also an opening at Birks at Bayshore. It asks for bilingualism, but I can probably get away without it. Stuff like that.

I've only done this because I'm dipping more and more into my line of credit, something I didn't want to do too much until I hit the doctoral level, and I'd like to pay back at least half of what I've taken out before September. In order to do that, I will need another job. This transcription thing is only going to pull in $1200 or $1400 at most, minus taxes, and my TA job will only bring me another $3000 before that ends, as well. I have some money put away in investments, but I'd like to put that down on my car, when I'm ready to get it.

I'm also just kind of looking for little jobs, things (like this transcription thing) that I can do from home, on my own time. Things that require a minimum of mental effort and that I can maybe do while doing something else. Like stuffing envelopes or something. So if you know of anything like that, lemme know.

Peaches.