::alio!::

smells like sunscreen

I had something witty to say and I worked on it this morning, but I've totally forgotten about it. When you've been awake already for five hours, the unimportant stuff tends to slip your mind.

I did have a dream, however, that I was reading the newspaper right after the Sens lost their series, and the article had a picture of Chris Phillips coming off the ice with his helmet off. He had a FRO. Like a straight-up-and-down-Mike-Commodore-esque type fro. It had attitude. So did his mammoth sideburns. Basically, he looked like a combination of Wolverine and The Fonz - with a perm.

In other news, I'm really starting to enjoy my walks in the morning. This morning I tried to convince myself that I was too tired to get up and go, but I couldn't fall asleep again, so I went. And it was good. It is so smoggy and hazy that the sun comes up as a huge shimmery orange ball. I tried to take a picture of it with my cameraphone, but I was unsuccessful. Perhaps some day I will lug my real camera along with me and try again.

In other other news, my eldest brother turns 29 today. TWENTY-NINE. Can you believe that? The older he gets, the older I get. Next year, three out of five family members hit a milestone with birthdays: my dad turns 60; Chris turns 30; and I turn 25. Weird.

It's also Tim's birthday today. I think he will be turning 22? 23? I think 23. In any case, it's a good day for the birthday fairy.

And finally, in the final news kind of way, I'm preparing a letter to Mr. Big's Lawyer, basically pleading with him, for the sake of knowledge (or some such nonsense) to send my shit to someone who ISN'T being traded to Boston. Sheesh.

daunted but determined

My boss, this morning, asked me if the Taylor Hicks photograph on my desktop was a picture of my boyfriend.

Nosy man.

Now, can anyone tell me where May went? It's been a blur. I need to get started doing . . . SOMETHING.

Actually, there's been a little hitch in that department. Well, a BIG FUCKING HITCH, actually.

You know Mr. Big's Lawyer? The guy who has all my stuff?

Yeah. That's him.

Well, he's been traded to Boston to be their GM.

So yeah.

Soul Patrol!

I don't even know why I was looking, but I found this great picture of Taylor Hicks circa 1997. He's pretty hot, I have to say. And he's now my new wallpaper at work.

Edit: 11:18 AM

So this huge truck is outside the hydroponics emporium, unloading massive cubed bags of potting soil.

Now we all know that hydroponics stores are stereotypically labelled as fronts for grow-ops. These cubed bags are very similar to the packaging used by large scale growing operations.

So riddle me this: what does a HYDROPONICS store need with SOIL?

Hm . . .

A Priest and a Kinesiologist and an Anthropologist walk into a bar . . .

So this priest and this kinesiologist and this anthropologist were sitting in a bar . . .

No, it's not a joke - that was part of my evening last night.

Interesting few days. Catching up with Chel and buying things I shouldn't, then meeting up with Ted for the first time, then meeting up with Adri, a girl I went to high school with, and then finally playing a part in getting a priest named John to join a softball team known as the Masterbatters.

I couldn't figure out why the priest looked so familiar until we determined that he was one of the Old Crows in my undergrad frosh at Carleton back in 2001. Interesting times . . .

So it hasn't been boring. Just expensive. I'm looking forward to payday, because I have about $20 to my name in usable funds.

I'm super glad it's a short week this week. I've started walking early in the mornings and so now I'm very tired. I need to get used to the routine for it to work for me. But it's a busy short week as well, and so many of my nights are later than I would like.

The worst part about it is I won't likely see this week's American Idol until the weekend. It's going to be very difficult to avoid finding out who won (Tay-lor! Tay-lor!) before then.

moving right along

I have just spent the past two days plugging old html entries into Moveable Type for conversion to my NEW website that Rachelle says she'll have up and running in about two weeks. I plan to hold her to this, so stay tuned.

Very interesting, reliving all those entries. There are 314 of them, including today's, mostly posted every second day since January 2004, with a short hiatus of four months wherein I had no website. Oh the dreams I have had -- the Wayner stories -- the amusing anecdotes -- the rants -- it will all be available for your perusal and commentary very very soon.

How the mighty have fallen

One redeeming factor about that game was a ten-second span where the CBC camera was panning across the Ottawa players on the bench. It panned over the boys drinking their water, spitting it and squirting it on the ice. Then it got to Chris Neil, who was about to squirt his water on the ice. But he missed, and it ended up all over Christoph Schubert's arm. The camera, never stopping, pans across Schubert as he realizes he's now all wet and he looks at Neil, and is just about to say something along the lines of, "What the FUCK, man?" when the camera slides by.

We re-wound that to see it again.

Admitting defeat.

Son of a fucking crackhole bitch.

12:05 PM

It wasn't a typo in the way you all thought. I've fixed it, but I actually prefer the original.

There is no state of being on this planet more infinitely frustrating than that of being a Senators fan. No, hear me out.

Chicago fans have the curse as their excuse -- the team has been so shitty for so long that there are no expectations.

It is similarly the case with Toronto fans -- except they have the added bonus of being arrogantly ignorant. Toronto fans are the George Bushes of the hockey world.

But Ottawa fans -- what have we got? We've got a gold-star level team, consistently the best in the league, packed to the gills with superstar players, who consistently raise the bar on our expectations, and then, just as consistently, spectacularly fail to match up -- with no apparent reason for the collapse.

The Senators just choke in the playoffs.

What is it about the playoffs that is so different from the rest of the season? It's like it's a different game altogether, one which the Ottawa boys don't seem to know how to play, nor do they have the desire to learn.

It is so frustrating to us in our little town, the centre of Hockey Country, Canada, the capital of our little northern world, that our representatives can't do what they were destined to do. A legacy of over a hundred years is at their disposal, and yet they can't draw from it any form of divine inspiration. The hearts of a million people in a thousand-kilometer radius beat for them and it leaves them cold.

They are playing for each other; they should be playing for us.

What is more frustrating than being a Senators fan is listening to the Senators fans whose cynical little hearts have beat their last for the team. To hear the multitudes as they play God and spout nonsense about what they know would be the cure-all for the team's woes.

I get really annoyed at those would-be coaches who begin their rant immediately after the puck is in the net, those who lose their faith at the first sign that there are no miracles, that these demigods on the ice are no more than humans in plastic armour. Trade him? Sack that guy? Do you even know what it is that you are saying? Are you a real coach or general manager? Have you skated on that ice? Have you felt the pressure, the pain, the joy, and the suffering that those involved feel on a daily basis?

No?

Then shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear you again until you have something more constructive to say.

Focusing on something else.

So I watched it. But not until Greg picked me up and said that we were winning.

I would like to send a big fuck you out to all those who don't believe in Emery. Clap your hands children, and show him that you believe in him.

I ALSO watched this week's American Idol. Holy SMACK. Did you SEE the looks on Chris' and Kat's faces when Ryan alluva sudden looked at Chris (after telling him that America thought he could be the next Idol) and said, "But your journey ends here. You're going home." Wow. Shock to the extreme on both sides. We watched it again and again. Priceless.

Pie and I have usually been right in our predictions for Idol (and I know -- I hate reality TV, but this one sucked me in -- I'll never watch it again after this season -- I promise), and we've pegged Katharine to go next week, leaving the final down to Elliot and Taylor. I love them both, and I would be happy to see either of them win, but I think it's going to be Taylor, who has never been in the bottom three or two. And I have to congratulate America for not picking conformist bullshit this year. They've always (this season - I've never watched this show before) voted off those who don't have a certain sense of uniqueness, leaving them with the two most bizarre idol contestants yet. Good job!

Seeing the fall coming

Yeah. I'm um, not planning on watching the game tonight. Either it will give me a heart attack or merely reaffirm what the whole City already knows.

11 May 2006, 2:42 PM

Playing a little Six Degrees with Sheri. One of our clients knows her from elsewhere. This client's ex-husband is friends with the brother of the guy who plays the yellow toothbrush on Listerine commercials. Sheri met him once when he came into her store a few years back (this was before the toothbrush fame). Apparently, he said "hey."

After some searching, I found him on IMDB -- Christian Potenza.

S-M-R-T!

One thing to note here:

It really helps if you have deluded your professors into thinking you're a genius.

Boo. Yah.

I got my last mark today. The one I was dreading. The one that resulted from a hullabaloo. The one I thought would be low, because the prof is a hard marker.

A+.

That's combined with two As on the term.

Two As last term.

I think it more than accounts for the B+ I got from one prof last term. Anyone can look at that record and know that something went seriously wrong there, and it probably didn't have to do with me.

So I now have an A average. It's a pity my thesis is pass/fail. *sigh*

In other news, I had a moment of complete and utter panic a few minutes ago when a client of mine called and specifically asked for me. I didn't recognize his voice at first, and thought he was Mr. Big's lawyer.

But he wasn't. Alas.

Waiting for the fall

Not going to go into how much Ottawa sucked against Buffalo on Friday night.

I have unlimited text messaging on my new cellphone. I got it because Canada and the US count as being within my digital zone-thingy, so I don't get charged for long distance. This means that I can talk to Andrew and Chel for free. Very nice.

So I was talking to Chel this morning on my phone and I was telling her that I was thinking of joining Minda's softball team to keep me active for the summer. I mentioned my qualms about it, as I think I will suck hard at it. Her response came back pretty quickly, and was along the lines of "well, you suck at hockey and you're still doing that."

Touché.

ADDENDUM: 7:49 PM

Also, this is great.

Any takers?

ROUND TWO MATCHUPS

Eastern Conference

Ottawa v. Buffalo --> Ottawa
This should be exciting. Both teams are made for the new NHL. Coaching staff and special teams are pretty much even, as are goaltenders, but our offense and defense have the advantage: Ottawa is bigger, faster, younger, and more accurate. Buffalo won't admit this, however, and I see the series going to at least game 6.

Carolina v. New Jersey --> Carolina
I'm looking at the regular season record here. Sure, Brodeur is playing like his old self again, but Carolina simply dominated the regular season, and I can't see them doing anything else in the playoffs. This will also be a long-drawn-out series, and the boys in the east are going to be very tired when it comes to round three.

Western Conference

San Jose v. Edmonton --> Edmonton
I have never been so happy to be proven wrong about a team (too bad I wasn't right about Calgary, though, and too bad I *was* right about Montreal). I see Edmonton going far. Sure, San Jose has mad skillz and Joe Thornton, but Edmonton seems to have recaptured the heart it had in the 80s and is channelling Gretzky out there on the ice. Five games.

Anaheim v. Colorado --> Anaheim
I'm actually not sure about how this matchup will turn out. I'm weighting my decision on the fact that the Neidermayer infusion in Anaheim, together with Selanne not sucking anymore, has seemed to galvanize the entire team, and it's very interesting to see. I don't see this series being very exciting, which means it will likely be very long -- seven games.

Ready for round two

My parents have decided, since I got the ticket in service of them, that they are going to pay it, which is decent of them. They also bought me some new sheets and pyjamas on their trip. Yippee. I also explained my weekend to them, and they were very supportive. So that's good.

As for hockey, it sucks hard that Montreal lost, but we all knew it was going to happen. I'm super happy that I was wrong about Edmonton, and I'm happy that I was right about Colorado. Those two upsets surprised a lot of people.

What I'm ESPECIALLY stoked about is that Carolina is playing New Jersey and Ottawa is playing Buffalo. It means that we'll have to face one of them in the next round, but it also means we don't have to face BOTH of them, because they'll do some of the elimination for us. Thank god. Those two teams are our respective rock and hard place. Buffalo I think we can handle.

I'll do a second-round matchup analysis when everyone is finished playing the first round.

TYPICAL

Of COURSE. The LAST day that I have to drive to work in order to be home in time to let the dogs out and still have lunch at the same time, I get a parking ticket. Lovely. Only $25, but still. It wasn't MY choice to drive.