::alio!::

Living with Greg

So, living with a boyfriend is awesome. In fact, the only thing weird about it is how weird it isn't.

Living with Greg, however, is a different story. It's not bad, don't get me wrong - it's just kind of ridiculous.

And I intend to keep you filled in on his exploits for the remainder of this year.

Tale #1

Tuesdays are my day off, and I generally spend them cleaning the apartment (someone's gotta do it, right?). So I'm puttering around, it's about 10 in the morning. Andy's already eaten and left for work. Greg gets up, and, not being a morning person, slowly goes about getting his breakfast. This means he gets down a bowl, gets distracted, does something else, then goes on with breakfast preparations.

I walk into the living room to find Greg sitting on the couch, leaning into his cereal bowl and scowling in consternation. He looks up at me and, in the most accusatory tone possible, asks me, "Did you put this SPOON in my bowl?"

My reply? "Um, NO."

I walk into the kitchen, and what do I see? Greg's shiny clean bowl sitting on the counter.

He had taken Andy's dirty bowl and spoon instead.

Tale #2

If you know Greg, this one is typical.

Greg goes out early in the morning, then to work, and then to an after-work party somewhere. When I call him at midnight to find out if he's still alive, he's drunk as a skunk and yelling.

When we question him the next morning to find out how he made it home, he reveals that a lady friend of his drove him home.

In itself, this doesn't sound like a big deal, right?

But this is Greg we're talking about.

So he reveals further that he arrived home at 2:00 AM, and the girl who was driving him home had to be at work at 7:00 AM. In addition, she lives in Barrhaven and Greg was the LAST person she dropped off. To top it off, this chick was attractive.

Do you think that perhaps this girl was hoping for an invite in? Perhaps to crash for the night, save herself a long drive back to work the next morning? Or perhaps she was looking for something more?

Perhaps.

But, being Greg, all he said was, "Thanks for the lift," and got out of the car. And that was it.

Oh, Greg.

Posted by Ally at August 28, 2007 10:17 AM