::alio!::

self-inflicted

For those who care (Rachelle), my bruise is healing nicely. It still hurts a lot, but has now reached that lovely kalaidescope rainbow stage. Red, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet, as well as mauve, gray, and black, are all represented on my knee.

I have, however, picked up a sneezing cold - I blame Angus. It's one of those ones where you basically feel fine but you are constantly sneezing and producing goober from your nose.

I think it will look hot in the wedding photos.

Which brings me to my next order of business.

I had a major stress breakdown yesterday afternoon (don't fret, I have at least one a year, it's part of who I am), and, as a result, I am grounding myself for the next week. That means my only contact with the outside world will be with email (I'm turning off both my landline and my cell phone), and I'm not leaving my house until I finish this transcription contract. I'm horribly behind, through no fault of my own. It's very hard to get anything done, to get a good flow going, when every 15-20 minutes your phone rings, your diabetic dog needs to go out, or your handicapped mother needs you to carry something for her. It's nobody's fault, but it was so frustrating to me, that I was nearing breaking point.

And, then, yesterday, I broke.

It's quite comical, actually, if you consider the series of unfortunate events that lead up to it.

So I haven't been able to get any work done at ALL this week. My dad is out of town and that makes me the primary caregiver for my mother. And my dogs. Fucking dogs, they drive me crazy sometimes. Because of the wedding and because of my class last night, we had to rearrange physio, and I had to run a whole bunch of errands on Monday. Then physio on Tuesday and Wednesday. I did EVERYTHING yesterday, to ensure that I'd have the ENTIRE day today to do work before I drove to class in the evening. I did my laundry, errands, physio, shopping with Greg . . . everything.

So everything was going well on Thursday. I spent an hour and a half reading in the morning, then I had my breakfast. My plan was to fold my laundry and then work for the rest of the afternoon before showering and heading to school to give my students their midterm. I got the laundry done, but then my mother broke the veneer of her tooth, and had to go to an emergency dental appointment.

So there went my afternoon.

Then I had to go out and find out if the wheelchair was in the SUV, because we had to go to a different dentist than usual. The wheelchair was there, all right, but it was behind the electric cart, which weighs a hundred pounds. In addition, I had to remove a three-foot high wall of snow from the front of my driveway in order to get the car out. So that was when I essentially lost it.

Then, heaving and swearing, I managed to break the cart - by dropping it on my foot (don't worry, it's fixable and my foot is fine). I shoved it along the driveway, which I had shovelled for the purpose - the wheels don't work if the battery isn't in the machine to put it in the garage and the garage door was frozen shut. Let's not ignore the fact that it was like -18 yesterday without the windchill.

So I'm freezing and I'm pissed off and I burst into tears. I fully broke down in front of my mother, and I'm afraid I made her feel really guilty for constantly interrupting me. We agreed that next week my family would simply pretend I wasn't in the house, so I could play catch up.

Then we went to the dentist. We parked outside, near a wheelchair ramp, at Holland's Cross, down in Tunney's Pasture. It was so cold and so windy that my mother couldn't get out of the car, because the door kept blowing shut on her. And I couldn't hold the door open, because I was on the other side of a snowbank, holding onto the wheelchair so it wouldn't blow away.

It was then discovered that the ramp ended in a large snowbank, even though the rest of it was shoveled, so we had to go all the way around the corner. I was running behind the chair and we were barely moving because it was so windy. I was starting to lose sensation in my hands. A nice man helped me to push when we got stuck in the snow on the corner, and we finally found the ramp. Some idiotic woman watched us struggle all the way through a sticky door before she said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought it was automatic!" Which is why I had to push it open and my mother had to hold it while I shoved her through?

Anyway, the dentist was really nice, and didn't charge us, and we got home okay. By this point, I had time to shower briefly and feed myself and I was late for school. Well, I got to school with ten minutes until class (which starts at 6:05). I had to pick up a video we had on reserve at IMS, but they were on some stupid power trip. They could have just told me I had to go to a different room to get it, but instead said they didn't have the authority to give me the video and asked me to wait for their supervisor. At 6:03 I told them I'd be back and raced to class, where I found some tit standing outside, tapping her foot and looking at her watch. She had permission to write the exam as a takehome, and apparently I was cutting into her schedule by being a tiny bit late. I told her to wait until I'd sorted out all the other students, which included finding an overflow room, because I have 60 students and my classroom only holds 50. That whole time I was running around she was rolling her eyes at me. If I can find out who she is, I'm going to fail her.

Midterm went okay, and after a discussion with a megalomaniac at IMS, I got the video from the next room down (which they could have just told me in the beginning). And then watched an hour of the most graphic rape imagery I have ever seen.

After that, I decided not to hold a discussion and let the students go. I needed to go to bed after my day.

So I'm slightly more human today, I suppose, but I'm still holding to my plan to disappear next week. After Sunday (which is my recover-from-this-wedding day), you won't hear from me for a week. No phone. No website (unless I finish my contract, in which case there will be an IN YOUR FACE written somewhere), no going out, no text messages. If you call my house, my family will tell you I'm busy.

Just so's you're prepared.

Posted by Ally at February 16, 2007 09:44 AM