March 22, 2005

terrified of the future

I have been neglecting you, my pretties, and I'm sorry.

Not much to tell, really. Since my weekend of bliss at the Hilton Lac Leamy, everything else has just been a gray blur: mostly of assignments, both my own and my students'.

Got ANOTHER rejection letter when I got home today, this one from University of Alberta. One -- Carleton -- left. I am dreading it. Although I suppose it's a good sign that I haven't gotten any thin envelopes from them yet -- it might take longer to put together a registration package. Of course, the Carleton application was also DUE later than the others . . .

If I don't get into grad school, I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't stay in this job, and do it full time. I would die. What am I supposed to do? Apply again next year? Perhaps if I don't get in this time around, I'll apply to teacher's college in the fall for January enrollment, and get my B.Ed over and done with.

Goddamnit, there are only two and a half weeks left to go, and I need more time! At the same time, I want it all to be over.

Alas -- I lead a split existence.

Posted by Ally at March 22, 2005 06:19 PM
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