Lawyers should be supervised
Story of the WEEK! (Chel, you'll love this)
Whilst going for coffee this morning, my lovely and inimitable coworker, Jen, who is
a smoker, but who is quitting as a Christmas present to me, told me a story.
We hide her smoking habits from the Wayner, in order to avoid a long-winded and
pointless lecture. He likes to think of himself as very moral, see, and this causes
a lot of problems.
Yesterday, however, she got CAUGHT OUT!
SCANDAL!
Sitting on a park bench, enjoying her lunch time ciggy, she became aware that the
Wayner was screaming at her from across the street: "JENNIFER? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GET THAT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!"
Barreling across the road to where she was sitting, he proceeds to lecture her on
the evils of a tobacco addiction. Blah blah blah . . .
Then the conversation turns to how the Wayner had a stinky lunch, and forgot his
toothbrush. Too lazy to actually brush his teeth, he merely purchased a tube of
toothpaste and proceeded to consume it. Jen then informed him that, wait a second,
toothpaste is poisonous. It's got all sorts of nasties in it like fluoride and
formaldehyde and detergent, and it's not something you're supposed to eat.
Being the lawyer who is never wrong, the Wayner whips out his shiny new tube of
toothpaste -- from which, according to Jen, a substantial amount was missing/had
been consumed) -- and read the label out loud. And the label, of course, listed the
ingredients, and warned that this product was not meant to be ingested, never use
more than a pea-sized quantity, children under six should be supervised when using
this product, etc. . . .
Feeling stupid and put-out at how the tables had turned, the Wayner mustered no more
than a, "uh, well -- see you later," before he took off.
This will entertain me for a while. Let me ask you this: how can a fifty-six
year-old man be SO STUPID that he EATS TOOTHPASTE?
Posted by Ally at November 18, 2004 04:17 PM