Opening night jitters
The Alfie tshirt is on. The Hossa jersey will come later. It is Thursday afternoon, and I have no work for four straight days. All the more time to concentrate on my -- studies -- yes, that's it. Studies.
Way to build up the suspense, Jacques. Spezza and who's starting in goal are Game Time Decisions tonight. Emery is also in town, in case you were wondering. That adds more fuel the fires of suspicion. *cue creepy music now*
Two favourite quotations today:
"It's The Bogey Man, and the Bogey Man must die!" - Wayne Scanlan, referring to the way the Senators view the Leafs.
"Ooh, I HATE HIM! I just wanna -- SHAVE HIS EYEBROWS RIGHT OFF!" - Jennifer, when trying to think of the worst thing she could do to Tie Domi.
"Did you know?" fact for today:
" . . . Wade Redden once wrote a haiku poem about hockey that earned him a perfect 10 out of 10 score from his English teacher, Mary Rogers. She still has the poem, carefully handwritten in ink on lined paper. Rogers was also inveted to be Redden's special guest at a Grade 9 home economics meal of chicken cacciatore -- becuase his mom was working. 'I thought, wow, for a student to invite a teacher - that was really something,' Rogers said."
Take a moment to laugh your ass off. I did. Amusingly enough, it coincidentally ties into what the rest of the post is about.
Hockey Haikus
{I wrote these last night whilst figuring out Trillian for the first time. I've organized them into a running commentary. You might pick up a few patterns.}
Puck drops at seven,
terrified for tomorrow.
Who will win the Cup?
The Leafs suck muchly
because they are so damned old.
I hope Belfour dies.
Hockey is super
especially when they fight.
I hope Belfour dies.
The Maple Leafs are
mean and dirty players, so
I hope Belfour dies.
Eddie the Eagle
tried to bribe the Dallas cops
with a billion bucks.
Domi the midget
has no sense of humour, so
he's suing the TEAM.
Sundin is Swedish.
That is all he's got going:
Sundin is Swedish.
Sundin is UGLY.
His kids scream when he comes home.
Sundin has issues.
I watch the hockey
because there are boys in it
and they are big, too!
I am learning to
stay off my ass when skating
and marry rich boys.
Caitlin loves Havlat.
She wants to have his babies.
Big, hockey babies.
Jenny loves Redden.
She wants to have HIS babies.
Big, jockey babies.
I would like to meet
Marian Hossa and then
ravish him for hours.
Did you know that Zed
speaks five diff'rent languages?
No? Neither did I.
Alfie's the captain.
He has a crazy moptop.
Still, I support him.
Mike Fisher loves God
and all His good creations
-- except for Domi.
Chris Neil will fight you
if you ask him nicely, but
only if you're nice.
Philly is my man
as blueline "D," he's the best
and so spreadable!
Prusek is super
when he's playing really well
-- no figure skating!
Schaef's stick is curly;
everyone thinks it's weird,
but it helps him score.
A-Train is Russian,
but speaks fluent hockey-tongue
when checking players.
Ottawa Sens rule
due to their handsome good looks
and their skillful play.
I grow so weary
but still I haiku onward.
Hockey is my life . . .
Someday I will be
in the locker room with them,
but -- *sigh* -- not just yet.
Later:
WOOHOO!
Marc and Jon, you missed the most fucking amazing game ever. Damnit, I can't type. I blame it on the beer. Lots of beer.
Went to Sergeant's. There was this nutty guy who kept hitting on Caitlin, and then this nutty guy who insisted on getting a proper high-five out of me after the game (but we were both drunk, so it took us three tries). GOOD TIMES WERE HAD BY ALL!
the freakin' score!
FIRST: So it begins, and then Nieuwendyk scores at somewhere around the three-and-a-half minute mark. Not cool. BUT THEN! Smolinski, at around 5:00, takes a feed from Schaefer and Havlat, and SCORES! It's tied. Yeehaw. Serious chances after that. The only reason the score wasn't higher is because of Eddie. He seriously robbed Alfie shortly after Smoke's goal. Then Mogilny got a tripping penalty, and Bonzai went on the breakway. Broken up. But then Fisher did the hit of the night, seriously SMOKING some crappy Leaf. Then Phillips pulled his patented Chris Phillips move. I've described it before, but there's never a better time for repeating yourself than when you're drunk. What Philly the Spreadable does is he picks a player, skates ahead of him, then turns around and skates backwards in front of him for a while. Runs into him, holds on, puts on the brakes, and then, when they've stopped, PUSHES THE OTHER DUDE OVER. It's a fantastic move, and I love the man who does it. It's PRICELESS.
New paragraph for the sake of having a new paragraph. Serious check by Domi on Volchenkov. Not amused. Then the flying fish got a penalty for tripping. Domi DOVE. Asshole. Buttmunch. So whatever. Nice checks by Redden, then de Vries got a penalty for interference and McCabe scored on Patty's GLOVE SIDE, which Patty should have saved. "How the FUCK did he miss that?" was the general sentiment in the bar. We were pretty much half and half Leafs and Sens fans there. Interesting Atmosphere.
In the dying seconds, Antropov got an interference penalty and there were some serious rushes in the last ten seconds. Stressed me out.
SECOND: would Don Cherry just DIE already so Brett Hull can take over? SHEESH!
Hahah, Domi was standing in front of the Ottawa Bench, and you could see Bonk make a face at him. PRICELESS!
Johanssen (the old fart) got a penalty for hooking but in the ensuing chaos there was a call for some penalty against Smolinski? I couldn't hear the announcer, as the ambient noise was too loud, but there was a lot of discussion between the officials and the benches.
Then in the play, Roberts tried to check Bonzai, but he did the niftiest pirhouette and avoided the brunt of it. NEAT! Renberg also took a run at him, too. I guess they took offense at his labelling Domi as a hitman. It's true, though. DEAL WITH IT, you stupid FUCKS.
BUT THEN
McCabe (TWIT!) took a penalty for slashing. In addition to the Renberg penalty, there was this one. Reds scored on the man advantage, from Havlat and Alfie.
THEN
Hossa goes crazy around the net. He's in traffic: he shoots, the puck bounces off Eddie's pads. He takes his own rebound, still bouncing, and goes over Belfour's shoulder. SCOOOOOOOOORE! I screamed. I really did. But so did everybody else. I don't know who assisted on that, because I am indeed drunk, but I think Alfie had something to do with it.
Beautiful plays by Pothier to keep the puck in the zone. He had a nice game.
Philly the Spreadable got a penalty for highsticking (most of us in the bar called BULLSHIT at this point), which was dumb, because Marchment shoulda gotten one, too. There was a messy point where two of the D were up on the offensive, and there was a turnover, and only two forwards were back, but Patty made the save. THANK FUCKING GOD.
Havlat then had a nice breakaway, but Belfour made the save -- just barely (this was his thing all night: the "just-barely-so-I-have-to-cover-the-fuck-up because-my-eyes-are-so-close-together-I-can't-see" kinda save). Then a shot of Patty making a ridiculously nice save. Then a shot of him yelling. I don't know why. Muddle between Chara and Domi (BTW, there was some ass in the bar with a cap that said "DOMI" on it, and there was a BLUE car in the parking lot, with a LEAFS flag on it, where the license plate said "28 TIE." Someone obsessed, no?). Anyway, more offensive rushes by Alfie and Fish, and Belfour making the saves again -- just barely.
THIRD: THE. GREATEST. PLAY. SO. FAR. Varada tangles with someone at the blue line, then falls (on purpose), and uses his knee to knock the puck out of the zone. Hossa takes it, dodges one player, turns on the Hossajets, dodges another. Belfour comes out, saying, "enough of this, children, I'ma shut you down!" Dives. Hossa zips around Belfour, but is tripped by his stick. Falls on his stomach. SCORES INTO THE EMPTY FUCKING NET. Gets up again before he stops sliding, helmet askew. Caitlin admits that, Havlat aside, "that was pretty fucking HOT." Yes, yes, I KNOW.
The Leafs fans in the bar get ominously quieter at this point.
BEAUTIFUL play by Volchenkov, Vermette, Lalime (on a breakaway, no less), and a nice check by Chara on #18 (Kaberle?). Then Hossa was brilliant again. With one hand, he was holding off Leetch, keeping him from stealing the puck. With the other hand, he was poking the puck in and out of Leetch's legs. I want to ravish that man.
Philly then got checked, but then CHECKED the dude who got him. All was good. The dude FLEW. HAHAHA. Fish got into a scuffle with Roberts, and that could have turned out badly, but then Schaefer stepped in and fucked with Roberts a bit, and the refs had to break that up so Roberts could go to the box. HAHAH. There was a serious wraparound-from-hell around Belfour that went nowhere, but stressed us all out. Then Ponikarovsky got a penalty for high-sticking. I can't remember what happened with that.
BUT THEN
There was a breakaway of some sort. Patty came WAYYYYY out of his net, batted the puck out of the air like a baseball. Tore back to his net, but not in time. Some Leaf took a shot. Only half-way back to the net, Patty jumps. Flies through the air. Snatches the puck. Everyone was like, "where the fuck did it go?" Patty, tossing the puck nonchalantly to the refs, says "TADA!"
Alison quietly had a heart attack.
Stefan: "I name that save the 'Flying Frenchman.'"
I have officially regained all respect for Poor Patty. That was the most fucking amazing pair of saves I have ever seen, and it's not the beer talking. I love that man again.
At this point, the Sens faithful began to sing, "NananaaNA! NananaaNA! Hey, hey, hey, GOODBYE!"
TOTAL.
CHAOS.
I loved every minute of it.
Goodnight, all.
Posted by Ally at April 8, 2004 12:00 AM